And down and down and down...

Friday, the 19th started out with fear. I was terrified about going in to the RE. But the ultrasound turned out to be FABULOUS. They saw the gestational sac in the uterus which rules out the ectopic entirely. They even saw another little dot which they thought could be a second sac. TWINS!!!!! How could that be? I only had one mature egg. How could we hit the IF jackpot???

I was supposed to be happy after that appointment but a little dot of fear in me insisted on the blood test. The nurse thought running it would be pointless - everything looked great. But the lack of symptoms and a niggling fear made me insist. Plus, I was still spotting. All day I waited for the call about the hcg numbers swaying wildly between optimism and fear. And as time passed and no call came, fear began to dominate.

At last, the phone rang!!! And the nurse said, "Is this a good time to talk?" And my heart sank. She would not say that if it was good news. And I was right. My hcg on Wednesday was 2192. On Friday, it was 3381. That means the hcg is only doubling every 79 hours. It is supposed to double at least every 72, if not 48, hours. This is bad!!! The nurse has calming explanations. Maybe the second sac we saw is going away - getting reabsorbed. That can explain the slowing of the hcg numbers. Or maybe you are just slower than others at this stage. Lets repeat the test on Monday. It should be between 6500-7000 by then if everything is going well.

Great!!! So, with sinking heart, I realized that I had bad news again - and on a Friday. Wait throughout the weekend for more news. On top of that, my husband's entire family were coming to visit during the weekend - and they did not know.

So, started a harrowing weekend. But it turned out that having them as guests forced my mind off my situation. Forced me to stop calculating what the hcg should be on Monday if it doubled, if it increased by 66% etc. But now I am left to my own thoughts again. Nothing to do till tomorrow but hope and pray. I am so tired emotionally. And it is going to be a harrowing 36 hours till I get my hcg tomorrow. But this is all I can do - wait, hope and pray!!!