And now up - at least for a day!!!!

After spending the weekend pretending to smile and care, I finally made it to Sunday afternoon. After hearing the news of the hcg failing to double on Friday, I had to spend Friday afternoon and evening and all day Saturday as well as Sunday morning pretending to care about meaningless conversation. My in-laws were here (mom and dad and brother and his girlfriend) and amusing them took up all my time and energy. Twice (Sat. night and Sunday morning), I noticed a little more pinkish blood in the toilet and had to lock myself in our room, cry for about 15 minutes and then put my smile back on and go outside.

Sunday night was a nightmare. I slept about 3 hours in spite of severe exhaustion and could not go back to bed. Finally, 9am Monday morning arrived. After giving blood, I did not want to leave. I wanted to sit there till they ran the test. But I had to go to work - pretending to care about something else I could barely think about. I carried my phone with me all day. I knew they would not call me till 1pm but I kept checking to see if I had any messages. When it finally rang at 1:40pm, I took it and ran outside - to get some privacy and to be able to cry in private. Imagine my shock when the nurse said, "Your hcg is through the roof. It went from 3381 on Friday to 11,600 on Monday." I really did cry then. My hand was shaking as I tried to call my husband. We had made it another day. And twins could still be on the table. Though I will take one kid - I am not being greedy.

Now starts more worrying. I keep poking my boobs to see if they are sore. They were sore last night and are not tonight. Why? Why am I not getting morning sickness? Has it just been a long day or is this tiredness from the pregnancy?

Unless something goes wrong (and please pray nothing does) I have no doctor's visits till March 8th. I will be 7 weeks then and they are hoping to hear a heartbeat. Till then, my own heart will be pounding - hoping and praying and worrying about this pregnancy.